When you’re not sure about whether to pull the trigger on your divorce process, the process of deciding can be nerve-wracking. One day you’re absolutely certain that you want to leave, and the next day, you start to feel sentimental and you can’t bear the idea of ending your marriage. These thoughts are normal, and eventually, you will know what’s right for you to do. In the meantime, you can ask yourself the following questions to help you weigh the decision in your heart and mind.

Why are you thinking about divorce?

What event, or what series of events, led to you feel disconnected from your spouse, and what kinds of things have caused you to grow apart? Your answer might be as simple as, “I just don’t feel for him or her anymore.” You’ll probably feel in pain and you’ll probably not feel so clear on the topic. When reflecting like this, try to “own” your own contribution to the current state of your marriage as it will help you better handle your divorce process more peacefully.

Have you tried to fix the problem?

Make a list of all the different things you’ve done or tried to do in order to fix the problems that led you to want a divorce. In some cases, your list might become so long and involved that you feel confident your situation will never change. In other cases, you might discover that you haven’t done enough to try to save your marriage and you’ll feel motivated to do more.

These two questions aren’t the end-all-be-all of the divorce decision-making process. You may also want to familiarize yourself with your legal rights going into the divorce so that you know what to expect once you begin the process.

Source: The Spruce, “4 Questions You MUST Ask Yourself Before You Leave Your Marriage,” Marni Feuerman, accessed Dec. 22, 2017