While there are no winners in divorce, the kids may end up losing. Through no fault of their own, they find themselves in a situation over which they have no control and which will cause irrevocable changes in their lives. If you are looking for a way to make a difficult process a little easier on your children, you and your soon-to-be ex-spouse may want to consider nesting.
In a nesting situation, you and your spouse take turns spending time with the kids, just as you would in a traditional parenting time arrangement. The difference is that the children stay in the family home while you and your spouse find somewhere else to stay while you are “off-duty.” According to Psychology Today, nesting offers many benefits for both children and parents.
Benefits for children
Nesting introduces some welcome stability for children still processing the trauma of divorce. While your children must undergo some changes, they still sleep in their own beds in the same rooms as before, they still go to the same school and changes to their daily routine can be minor.
In many cases, nesting is a temporary solution rather than a permanent one. Nevertheless, it allows you to introduce changes gradually to your children and give them time to adjust rather than risk overwhelming them by turning their entire lives upside down at once.
Benefits for parents
Nesting prevents you and your ex from having to furnish two different homes to accommodate children. Since the children are probably not going to be making visits to either parent’s alternative home, you and your ex may be able to find smaller and cheaper accommodations than you would otherwise. This can be important during the expensive divorce process.
Nesting can also potentially save you a lot of headaches by not having to keep track of your children’s things. Since they remain in the home, your children will not have to transport clothing, toiletries and toys back and forth.
In divorces, there are no one-size-fits-all solutions, and nesting is no exception. It does make sense in many cases, but only you and your ex can determine whether it is right for your family.