It’s rare that a couple can go through a divorce without some conflict. Even when the separation is amicable, disputes will likely be regarding asset division, spousal support and custody arrangements.
Still, with the exception of the most contentious of divorces, most ex-partners can move on to have a cordial co-parenting relationship.
The importance of co-parenting
Children benefit when their parents work together. Studies have shown that children do better academically, emotionally and socially when they have the involvement of both parents. A harmonious co-parenting relationship helps your children from feeling like they’re caught in the middle and need to choose sides.
The most crucial part of any co-parenting relationship is effective communication. Without it, important details may be overlooked. You should not rely on your children to relay messages. If emotions are still raw, emails and text messaging are an option. Just remember to keep the conversations child-centered. Some excellent co-parenting apps offer a secure messaging platform, a shared calendar and expense tracking.
Kids need a consistent routine. It gives them a sense of security and predictability. Without a routine, they may begin to feel anxious. It also encourages co-parents to cooperate. When both parents have the same expectations and rules, they are less likely to be manipulated by their children.
There may be times when you become frustrated with your ex. However, you want to avoid venting about the other parent where your children can hear. This will make them feel conflicted. Save the venting for an evening out with friends, a therapist or a journal. When you are with your children, focus on providing them with a stable, happy environment.
Things rarely go exactly as planned, especially when children are involved. Other emergencies may also arise, such as your ex-spouse needing to make last-minute arrangements due to a work issue. While your children need consistency, it’s also important to be flexible if the situation requires it. But if it becomes an issue and your flexibility is abused, it’s okay to address the problem.
A good co-parenting relationship takes patience, and mistakes will happen. But your efforts will result in healthier relationships for you, your ex and your children.