When there’s an impending divorce, it’s not unusual for spouses to look around their home and make a mental (or written) inventory of the things they want to keep. This can include furniture, artwork, exercise equipment, high-end kitchen gadgets, vacation souvenirs and more.
Unfortunately, some divorcing parents do the same with their children’s belongings. They may feel they have the right to insist that items they purchased or otherwise acquired for their child remain in their home. A mom may believe that an American Girl doll they bought their daughter on a “girls’ weekend” in New York should remain with her. A dad may want an autographed baseball for their son to go to his new apartment.
These are gendered examples, but they illustrate how invested parents can sometimes be in their children’s belongings. Experts agree, however, that requiring a child to divide their belongings like this between their parents’ homes isn’t in that child’s best interests – particularly since they’re likely already feeling anxious and unmoored by their parents’ break-up.
It can be helpful to think of a giant roof over both their and their co-parent’s home. This is their child’s home, and their belongings should be able to go wherever the child chooses – within reason. The same goes for birthday, Christmas and other gifts given after parents separate.
Why some things should remain in one home
Certainly, some things are too large and bulky to carry back and forth. In some cases, they should have duplicates or something similar in both homes – like bedding, toiletries, pajamas and more.
Young children may still need their parents to make these decisions. In some cases, one parent may not approve of something – like a video game with some simulated violence. They have a right to prohibit their child from playing that game while they’re with them, so it makes sense to keep it where they can play with it.
While divorcing couples sometimes spend too much time arguing over how relatively inexpensive, replaceable items are divided, it’s crucial to remember that a child’s belongings aren’t theirs to divide. By having sound, experienced legal guidance, it’s easier to focus on the more valuable assets and how reaching a property division agreement can make a difference in how sound their financial future is.