Heading to marriage counseling with your spouse? Well, don’t panic — counseling can save a marriage.
However, good counselors also sometimes recognize that a marriage is probably over as soon as they see they see certain traits in the couple’s relationship. These include:
A relationship that was on full blast at the very start
Sometimes, a couple is just so head-over-heels with each other that they jump into marriage with both blinders and rose-colored glasses. They don’t take the time to get to know the other person’s quirks or faults — and find that they can’t live with them once they do.
The couple simply doesn’t know how to talk to each other
Couples can grow together or grow apart over time — but they’re far more likely to grow apart if they don’t communicate well with each other.
The individuals have different expectations and goals
Everyone has an idea of what they expect married life to be like. If both halves of the couple aren’t expecting the reality of life with another person — which often includes dull times, lots of work and inconveniences — they may end up disappointed. Similarly, a couple’s goals for the future need to align if they’re going to be happy.
The couple no longer has any common interests
This is likely why so many “empty nesters” find themselves divorcing these days. So many people lose themselves in the process of providing for their families that the only common bond the couple actually has left in the end is their children. Once the children are grown, they don’t know how to relate to each other and can’t remember what they used to find attractive and interesting about the other person.
Counseling can cure many things, but sometimes, it’s an issue of “too little, too late.” Other times, couples in counseling actually discover that they’d really be happier divorced. If that’s your situation, a divorce attorney can help you explore your options for the future.